The pain in your life has a special purpose. It is meant to be a shock to wake you up to the power you have to make choices between what helps or what hurts. So get rid of the blame game. Pain is meant to be a wake up call. Wake you up to what? Wake you up to the power you have to make choices.
You are given the possibility of a perfect life at birth. However, it has to be earned by getting rid of the craziness that you borrow as you grow up from those around you. Is this path easy? Just try it and find out. Some people say this is the path of least resistance. Let me know what you think.
Within each of us is what is called False Personality. This is the personality through which we tend to interact with the world. We borrow thoughts and feelings from others as we grow and develop because these attitudes seem to be acceptable to everyone around us. Sometimes our experiences develop what is called a sub-personality so that we can deal with uncomfortable circumstances. Do you remember Sybil? Her sub-personalities had developed to a much higher degree than with most of us. However, we do create various erroneous attitudes and beliefs about ourselves and the world around us over time. We view our world through the filter of the False Personality.
Until we try to change the way we respond to and view our lives, we often remain ignorant of the lie we are living. We are not our Authentic Selves. Instead, we have trained ourselves to accept as "normal" the distorted view based on the perspective of our False Personality.
Even when we arm ourselves with this knowledge and step forward on the road of change, it is so easy to slip back into the comfort zone the False Personality offers us. We may have been miserable before, but at least we knew what to expect! This is what we tell ourselves when we encounter the pain that comes with change. This is the palliative solution we often accept.
Be awake! Assess your decisions every day to see if they reflect your authentic thoughts and feelings or are designed to keep you in a familiar place.
If you're physically a male, you have a relationship with your emotional feelings within you. If you're physically a female, you have a relationship with the male within you. Marriage is the outer expression of what kind of relationship each of the partners has with their inner opposite. It is good to remember that the intellect or the way in which a person processes information is considered dominant with the Male. Feelings or emotions are generally considered dominant with the Female. The whole power in life is to understand and use these parts of the mind correctly and for their intended purpose.
When you read about manifestation, you will often hear that it requires your thoughts and feelings to be together to manifest what you want. In other words, the male and female within you must be in harmony. Of course, the degree to which your thoughts and feelings are in harmony determines the quality or level of your manifestation or your outer relationships. So, if you are at peace with your inner opposite, it is much more likely that the relationships in your life will be harmonious.
Marriage is a perfect schoolroom for determining how well you're doing at blending your thoughts and feelings. If you have difficulty in relationships, you should look within before you lay the blame at the feet of your partner. The greatest gift marriage affords you is to give you an in-your-face opportunity to examine your own life. How you treat your partner is simply a reflection of the respect and understanding you have for your inner opposite. Isn't it wonderful that life acts like a mirror for the relationship you have with your inner opposite?
I had bad experiences in my past that I carried with me for years. They interfered with my ability to see the truth that was around me because I interpreted people and circumstances colored by those experiences. The number of missed relationships and bungled business opportunities had been painful memories until I learned how to not let them haunt me.
What helped me let them go was realizing that nothing is lost if you have the attitude of seeing them through a trial-and-error attitude. In learning any skill, there is time to learn the difference between what works and what doesn't. Life is the same. Nothing is a waste, if you choose to see past negative experiences as the means to grow into a more peaceful and prosperous person. The truth is that nothing is good or bad unless you choose to see it this way.
It helps to never blame the world or the people in it for your experiences because everything is a personal choice whether you realize it or not. When you take responsibility for your experiences, you access the mental power to see the hidden elements that sabotage your life.
The only failure you will ever have is when you do not take the time to find out what attitude caused the failure and make a commitment to change it.
Watch a fly fisherman. He will try different lures until he finds one that attracts the trout. He doesn't give up just because one fails to do the job. He uses trial and error until he finds one that works.
You do the same. Give thanks for the opportunity of finding out what does and does not work. Use your so-called failures as the means of growing into the being you are meant to be. Focus instead on what you want because, in this way, you will find the right mental bait to attract it.
Did you know that nothing in your life is an accident? We like to appease ourselves that when something bad happens to us it is because of bad luck or being involved with the wrong circumstances or people. But the truth is that we attract our experiences from the largest to the smallest. Our experiences have nothing to do with the people who are around us.
We are surrounded by an energy field that has an unthinking attracting power. It will attract the good and with equal impersonal power, attract the bad. Still, our bad experiences are just so much useless, unnecessary suffering it we do not use them for their intended purpose. They are meant to shock us into noticing the misuse of our power to create our life experiences.
When I found the Principle of Polarity, it helped me understand why I would get bored and how to turn boredom from a negative to a positive. Do I need to ask you if you ever get bored?
Let me share some ideas about the negative feeling called boredom.
First — It may shock you to know that boredom is a borrowed emotion. We learn boredom from our parents, and they learned it from their parents. So, when you are immersed in the feeling of boredom, I want you to try something that works like a charm for me.
Say to yourself, "I am feeling bored. This is one of those feelings I borrowed from those around me before I had the smarts to tell them to keep it to themselves." (I'm being nice!) You'll find that this simple exercise gives you the space you need to think about the feeling rather than becoming at one with it. In other words, you start to think about boredom rather than being bored.
Second — The Principle of Polarity can be used to break the hold that boredom has on you. You use this principle to overcome boredom by creating a challenge for yourself. Let's think about this. The distance between where you are and the goal you set for yourself creates polarity. That's why when you go to a prosperity seminar, they stress setting goals that stretch and challenge you. The greater the challenge, the greater the polarity, and the less space for boredom to set in. If your life is too predictable, this is what causes the onset of boredom.
Several years ago, my dentist, who had been practicing for 19 years, said the strangest and scariest thing to me. He said, "I am so bored that sometimes I think that if I have to look at another tooth, I'll throw up!" Now I think you'll agree, this is certainly a strange thing for a dentist to say. But why was it scary? Well, guess whose tooth he was working on? J At least he didn't throw up on me!
Later I discovered that he broke the spell boredom had on him by engaging the Principle of Polarity. How did he do this? He created the magnetic force associated with polarity by challenging himself. He went back to school to learn the technical skills necessary to incorporate advanced cosmetic dentistry into his practice.
I've touched briefly on the complex idea of the Principle of Polarity. If you want to look into the concept in more detail, our 5 CD audio book, "It's Your Move!" greatly expands this idea.
Is there someone in your life driving you crazy? Someone who makes you cringe at the sight of them? You might even visualize all the bad things you would like to see happen to them. You just thought of someone – didn't you? So what do you do about this?
The way I see it, you can wait for them to change—which might mean waiting until hell freezes over—or you can change the way you think about them. I believe your best odds lie in changing the way you view them. What do you think?
Before I go any further I want to share a story with you that a lady told me. She was at war with an office full of people she described as mean, back-stabbing, lying, tattle-tales (and some other words that I can't say here). The atmosphere was keeping her awake at night, and she was barely able to force herself to go to work.
Out of desperation and self-preservation, she made a decision that she was no longer going to participate in the pettiness. When she looked into their eyes, she refused to see those nasty traits, but instead, she chose to see them for who she believed they really were under all that anger and pettiness. She also decided to be helpful to others in spite of the fact that she received no thanks. Gradually things changed. People in her office started smiling at each other. The lines drawn between responsibilities began to disappear, and lo and behold, they started helping each other! She told me that in four months, the office was transformed.
Let me ask you—what was the biggest change that happened, the one she valued the most? You got it! The change that had happened in her. She said, "I now know that the power I have to change my world starts with my willingness to change what is going on in me." In spite of it all, she figured out that she could enjoy her life. We all can.
Your life can be like working with a powerfully programmed, covert partner who reacts to life based on past experiences. The choices made by this secret partner are trained reactions, similar to making mechanical choices. Another name we often use for this secret partner is the False Personality, which is a conglomerate of those subpersonalities we discussed earlier. The problem is that life changes, but the machine in a person continues to be fed by the same negative ideas and opinions. This mechanical thinking results in your following procedures and making choices that no longer fit the ever-changing circumstances of life. The result is that old ideas and attitudes prevail. In other words, people rarely examine the archaic ideas that generate what they think. This is why most of us fail as creative beings, choosing instead the unimaginative path of our covert partner.
Our covert partner is an unthinking power that is always attracting something whether it helps or hurts us. However, if you are like most people, you resist the idea that you are attracting what happens by what you think or feel. You came here to understand how creative you are, and for most of us, it takes many lifetimes of pain to fully understand how our borrowed and misguided thoughts and feelings attract our experiences.
Is the awareness of their covert partner obvious to most people? Not on your life. Thinking and acting like a robot and mindlessly reacting to circumstances feels good because you fit in. How can you look normal, just like everyone around you, and still be a robot? Because you are walking through life with blinders on, which serve to make you believe that looking like everyone else is the goal. It is not.
This is called the Planet of lesson for good reason. What is the lesson? Learning how to wake up and become a thinking person rather than a machine. Judge your reactions to life from the circumstances of the NOW. Do not let your past dictate your present or your future. It is only in this way that you can live a creative life. But, either way, you should enjoy your life because it is the result of your choices.
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John Dean Williamsen